Tuesday, December 20, 2011

12.21.11 PRE-anniversary Giveaway!

Had your eye on my book, MONAD 12.21.12 The Awakening of Stella Steinar? Well, it may be your chance to score a free signed copy! Melanie at Melanie's Book Addiction will be hosting a giveaway on her blog. The contest kicks off first thing tomorrow morning 12.21.11, in honor of the prophetic date of 12.21.12--a significant date for Stella Steinar, the mysterious main character in my book. Here is the link to Melanie's blog. Check it out tomorrow for details!

Melanie's Book Addiction Blogspot

Friday, December 16, 2011

Holiday Excerpt: sneak preview from MONAD 12.21.12 The Awakening of Stella Steinar

It was just before midnight and Petra was certain that her husband would be at MONAD, along with his wicked sidekick, Myra.  She knew they would be hiding in their secret lab, doing horrible, ugly things.  It was December 19th, the week before Christmas, and they would have lured some desperate creatures there who needed cash to buy toys for their kids or jewelry for their spouses.  Her blood boiled as she pulled through the gates at the security station.  She lowered the icy window and the cold air poured into the car.  The guards knew her and she easily slipped through when she flashed her designer smile.
She parked, flipped her fur-lined hood up over her head and hustled to the building.  She opened a door at a side entrance, using her own MONAD badge…how silly that Erling trusted her with one.  He was overly confident, as usual.  From memory, she quietly made her way through the halls.  She decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator.  She took off her shoes and silently descended three stories underground.  She peaked through the small glass pane in the door that connected the landing to the hallway.  A light from further down the corridor signaled that she was in the right place.  Her source had proved to be reliable.  It should be--she'd paid the agent enough for the information!
Retrieving the small handgun from her purse, she took a deep breath.  The years of target practice were about to pay off.  After setting her shoes and purse down on the bottom step, she gently opened the heavy steel door.  The well-greased hinges assisted in her stealthy advance.  Although her heart was pounding, she took her time.  No need to rush.  There was no room for error.  No mistakes.  She tiptoed toward the light at the end of the hallway; it came to a "T."  After peeking around the corner to the right, she rounded it, sticking close to the wall.  Each step was methodical and deliberate.  As she crept toward the lab, she tightened her grip on the gun and kept it steady out in front of her, waist high. 

            The frosted glass door hid the activities that took place behind it. Ignoring her own heartbeat and controlling her breath, Petra listened intently. She heard them talking, but couldn’t make out words, only voices. The heavy glass door muffled the sound. If she moved swiftly, she could save not only Stella, but she might be able to save these poor souls tonight as well. She counted backwards from ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. She was ready. Three. Two. One! With one hand, she flung her MONAD I.D. badge at the sensor. It beeped, but did not turn green. Red. She tried once more. Red. Panic began to set in. This lock must only be authorized for Erl and Myra. Shit! Why hadn’t she thought of that? Then she heard footsteps rush to the other side of the door. Someone was going to open it. She backed up and braced the gun out in front of her, pointing at the opening door.    ........

Saturday, November 19, 2011

My Not-so-Near Death Experience

I know I said I wouldn’t be writing blog posts while I was busy writing the second book in the Stella Steinar series, but if you know me, you know I can’t help myself from pursuing an idea when it refuses to leave me alone.  And this has everything to do with completing Stella’s story, so I need to just get it out there and release it from my mind.  After reading this, some of you will have questions that I may not be able to or willing to answer.  I’ve sporadically spoken of this to a handful of friends over the years so it will sound familiar to some.  But here, now, I’m officially putting the rumors to rest.  This is the story of my not-so-near death experience.  My account of a mysterious and everlasting memory.  A trip into the unknown.  The waiting room.

I was 20 years old.  Old enough to know things, but still na├»ve nonetheless.  At that time I knew nothing of chakras.  But I knew that I was endlessly and consistently plagued with stomach issues which were a direct result of anxiety shadowing all aspects of my life.  At this particular time I had, what I perceived to be, a lot going on and a lot to worry about.  Now I laugh at what I used to think was stressful and my third chakra is much happier for it.  Ha! 

Anyway, I’d spent a few days in the hospital for a simple reason, nothing major.  Just needed some TLC for a sensitive tummy that wasn’t getting better on its own at home.  To give my stomach a rest, I had an IV and received fluids and medicine through it.  Turns out, I was stricken with an unexpected allergic reaction to one of the drugs I was given.  It started slow.  Some muscle spasms, a strange pulling sensation in my neck and eyes.  Then as my back began to uncontrollably tense and arch in a slow rhythmic pattern, panic set in.  It was late at night and I called a nurse to my room.  She suggested I should try to relax.  I could not.  Terrified, I managed a quick phone call to home just before I was completely consumed by a full-on seizure.  Now, I’d never had one before, so I had no idea what was happening to me.  The problem was compounded by my fear as I complicated the episode with hyperventilation.  Feeling I couldn’t move, talk, or breathe, I was convinced I was dying.   To be clear, I was not. 

As the nurses and doctor discovered me and checked my vitals, etc., I heard them talking and was assured my oxygen levels were normal.  I was aware they were injecting me with something to counteract the reaction.  Within seconds, as the seizure unleashed me from its grip, my body melted out of it and I slid into a drug-induced sleep.  Just before I drifted off, I slurred out loud, “I’m dying.”  I really, truly felt like I was leaving my body, drifting helplessly away.  Different than sleeping, I was unable to control where I was actually going.

This is where I went.  The beginning of it was loose, distorted, finding my way.  Then I steered into a constructed version of reality, I think a place that made sense to me.  Another dimension maybe.  It was a room.  A waiting room.  Bright, but fuzzy and foggy.  Empty, save for chairs lining the four square walls.  Instinctively I sat in one, waiting—for what, I wasn’t sure.  For my name to be called, I guessed.  For death, I suspected.  A girl materialized next to me in the chair beside.  One moment not there, there the next, not having entered through a door.  There was only one door.  The way out.  The exit. 

The doorway was even brighter than the room.  So bright it was nearly blinding.  I was unable to see past the light in the doorway, but I was completely unafraid of it.  I was indifferent to it.  Not happy, not sad, not fearful.  I just “was.”  Waiting.  The girl sat too, waiting.  I knew her face.  Someone I recognized.  I didn’t know her, not personally.  But I knew of her.  I’m purposely leaving out her name for reasons I’ll explain later.  She’d been sick a long time.  It was common knowledge around my small town.  She had cancer.  Too young, much too young.  But when is it ever fair?  Young, old, never.

We sat together for a while without speaking, and her presence was comforting to me.  Soon her name was called.  She made no rush to leave, lingering beside me a few moments.  She placed her hand on top of my hand, resting on the arm of the chair between us.  She looked at me, her face alight with serenity and joy, spirit, confidence.  “I’m leaving now.  But you aren’t leaving.  Go back,” she said.  Her smile penetrated my very existence.  ‘I must listen to her.  She knows,’ I thought.  ‘She knows better than me what we’re doing here, in this place, the waiting room.’

I don’t remember seeing her leave through the exit because I had already woken up, my consciousness shifting timelessly from there back to my hospital bed.   So real.  So vivid.  So many years ago, but still clear.

I’ve spent all these years since trying to decide what happened that night.  My need to know the truth doesn’t stop me from living a full and happy life.  It’s just always there, always present, a bit beyond my reach.  A gentle torment .  You will see fragments of this experience littered throughout my writing.  I draw inspiration from it as I attempt to find the meaning of it.  You may choose to diminish my experience by shaking your head and calling me a “crack pot.”  However, I’m not claiming anything as fact or true.  On the contrary, I would love nothing more than to know the truth, for the truth is what I seek.

The waiting room as a dream symbol has obvious meaning and makes sense for the situation and the particular stage of life I was in.  But that has never been the focus of my search.  It is the girl.  Why her?  Why then?  How did she make her way into my subconscious at that particular moment?  And is there more to this story than I am ready to know?  The possibilities are endless.  Did I hear people discussing her while I was asleep?  Did my fear of death conjure her image?  And other questions looming in the shadows have somehow seemed inappropriate.  Would talking of this experience be disrespectful to the girl or her family?  Would they find peace if they heard the story or be enraged that I should mention such a thing?  And what if I dug a little deeper and found records from that night, anything that might support an alternative source of the truth, something no one wants to talk about?  And if I did find something, would it even matter?  She is at peace and has been for a very long time now.  Not only is she at peace, but the kindhearted physician who was on call that mysterious night is also at peace, moved on through the waiting room.  Why can’t I let this go?

Since I was a child, I’ve always felt I possessed a touch of "the witch"--a seer of things unseen by others.  I say this with equal parts humor and seriousness.  Maybe it was my name.  Maybe I identified with that particular archetype.  Whatever the reason, I have always questioned and have never accepted any explanation of the unknown with a simple answer.  To me, there is much that we do not, cannot, and will not ever know about our world and how we function within or outside of it.  My experience in the waiting room is just another of those unknowns.  But I sure hope one day to find out.  That would be an amazing prize at the end of the journey!

This is the most honest and true account of my not-so-near death experience I can describe.  I welcome comments or questions from those who know me along with those who don’t, and will do my best to answer.  Thank you for reading!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Ellie Goulding 'The Writer' : Acoustic

Finding inspiration through Ellie Goulding at the moment. Thought I'd share with you...

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Five Star Review

"The author takes reincarnation to a whole new level. The storyline is very clever and original. It kept me guessing until the end. Some moments truly shocked me and I just couldn't turn the pages fast enough to find out what would happen next.  The writing is amazing. The first few lines grab your attention and the ending leaves you begging for more."

click for link to full review:

Melanie's Book Addiction 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Check out the latest review!

Fascinating story!
's review Oct 23, 11
4 of 5 stars
Read from October 18 to 23, 2011

What's your deal? Science fiction? Mythology? Spirituality? Psychology? Ms. Anderson seamlessly wove all of these things together in her very fascinating debut novel, "The Awakening of Stella Steinar."

For centuries, science and spirituality have battled each other for a place of priority in society. It is exasperating for people like myself to watch this battle wage on -- knowing that there never has been, and never will be, a clear winner -- but also extremely refreshing to read stories like this one, in which science and spirituality come together for the betterment of humanity.

This story is an exploration about the possibility of reincarnation, and what might happen if we developed the technology to force reincarnation, rather than let it happen naturally. What if that technology fell into the wrong hands? Could evil people gain a permanent foothold in this world? And if they did, how could they be stopped? Is there even any other use for this technology other than evil? What would you do if you were faced with that choice?

In addition to the philosophical contemplation that runs throughout the length of the novel, I was also very impressed with the level of creativity. This is not just a typical reincarnation story along the lines of, "Soul gets reincarnated and finds lost lover" or "Soul gets reincarnated to save the world." Those themes are in there to some extent, but they are not driving the plot. The author has taken a completely new perspective on reincarnation -- but I will leave that up to the curious reader to discover for him/herself.

I am very excited to support this emerging author and I look forward to reading the next installment in the series!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Halloween Teaser

Trick or Treat?  Halloween is just around the corner, so I thought I'd give you a little "treat."  Here's an excerpt from my book, MONAD 12.21.12 The Awakening of Stella Steinar, Chapter 19.

     “You know what tonight is?”
     “Halloween?”  Dane answered with a chuckle.
     “Besides that, goof!  It’s actually the Norse New Year.  October 31st was called Samhain Eve.”
     “Cool!”  She had Dane’s attention.  He loved her stories.
     “It’s supposedly the night that the Wild Ride begins.”
     “Sounds like my kind of New Year!” he joked, pulling her closer to him.
     Giggling, she continued.  “It’s the night when the lights go out in all of the Nine Worlds, letting all the spirits and goblins roam free around the earth.”
     “Creepy.  Are you scared?”
     “Maybe.  A little.”  She was exaggerating, in a cute way.
     “So how do we contain all of these maniacal ghosts?”  Dane was going along with it, having a little fun.
     “We don’t.  We just hope they don’t kill us,” she said finally belly-laughing.  When she caught her breath, she added something she’d just remembered.  “You know what’s really kind of weird, though?”
     “I just remembered that, according to Nordic lore, the height of the Wild Ride lands on December 21st—the day of the Midwinter Festival.  It’s the shortest day of the year in Scandinavia.”
     ...[text removed for spoilers]...
     “It’s like…the Mayan Calendar.”
     “Yeah.”  They both were quiet for a moment, thinking as they walked.  “Whatever.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s just a myth.”  She’d had enough freaky action for one night.
Dane changed the subject.  “Come on, I know where we can go.”  Aron hugged his arm tightly and they headed for a party.  

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Status: Now Writing

I'm officially in writing mode.  The sequel to MONAD 12.21.12 The Awakening of Stella Steinar begs to be told.  I am a slave to the story.  So, basically what I'm saying is this:  updates and blog posts will be sporadic and minimal for the next few months.  I'll post any exciting events or reviews as I get them, but consider yourself warned.  I may be boring for a while.  Sorry!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I've had some questions, so my friend @ikonicimage, Corrie Gray & I put together this little explanation.  Hope it clears everything up for you!  Happy reading!

copyright by Corrie Gray & T. Anderson, 2011

Wednesday, September 07, 2011


MONAD 12.21.12 The Awakening of Stella Steinar has been released by Sunbury Press!

For information and ordering, please visit www.authortanderson.com

Thursday, September 01, 2011

The Possibility is the Prize

Imagine there are a million little dots inside the circle.  All of the dots are impossibilities.  Except one.  There is one dot that is a possibility.  And knowing it's in there is all that matters.  The knowing of the possibility.  Not even the action of choosing a dot and hoping it's the one.  Just the knowing.  That's the most exhilarating part of it all.  That's the moment when you realize what the prize actually is: the anticipation of the possibility.  Now imagine there are an infinite number of circles out there, each containing a chance at a possibility.  Let the feeling in.  Allow yourself to see the joy in all the possibilities just waiting for you.  I don't know about you, but when I think about it, it's the best feeling in the world.

Today was a really great day, with so many possibilities that I couldn't even count them all.

T. Anderson
September 1, 2011

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Record--What They're Reading


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Attention Nerds!

A social anomaly has crept into our lives while we weren’t looking and has overtaken without our permission.  Attention fellow Nerd Herd members:  there are imposters hiding among us.  Do not despair.  If you look closely, they’re easily detectable and can be drawn out of their hidey-holes with merely a Starbucks Skinny Latte or an irresistibly good sale on designer handbags.

I can feel you imposters looking over your shoulders as you read this.  Beware!  We authentic dorky geeks can spot you a mile away.  Your trendy thick-rimmed eyeglasses, perfectly mismatched wardrobes, and awkward pseudo-nerd-speak scream "FAKE!"

Admittedly, it is rather flattering to us, though.  We really don’t mind the complimentary homage you pay us die-hard geeksters.  But you’re making it a little difficult for us to strive for the ever-unreachable cool factor we’ve had dangling in front of us for so many years.  We’re left a little shaken, floundering in search of the next unattainable goal, but with a boosted ego and slightly pompous self-nerd-love.  

Finally!  The lines have been officially blurred.  NERDS are COOL!  What?  Yes, that’s right!  So go ahead, you jocks and studs and princesses—embrace your inner nerd!  One request, though:  try a little less hard.  You’re making us look bad.  Okay?

p.s.  All rock stars were once 'band geeks', you know.  Think about it.  Just saying…

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Is There A Soul? Beyond Belief - ABC - Dr. Sam Parnia

This ABC television show was interesting. The fact that credible, professional people are open to this possibility is encouraging. Take a look at this clip if you didn't catch the show yourself.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Book Release Date

Tentative Release Date: September 9, 2011
More details to follow regarding ordering/purchasing.

Monday, August 01, 2011

Jim Carrey "The Power of Consciousness" HD!!!! NEW

This video is almost fifteen minutes long, but it's fifteen minutes well-spent. I encourage you to take the time to watch it. I love how Jim describes how he realized his gift of comedy was meant to alleviate others' suffering, and how he hopes he will affect people in a positive way while having fun doing it. I share his goal.

Sunday, July 31, 2011


No, my book is not a vampire story.  But let’s get one thing straight.  I was “vampire” before vampires were ever this cool.  I know there are more of you out there, am I right?  You know, Lost Boys, Anne Rice, and let’s not forget the original, the great Dracula?  I’m not knocking the new vampire fans, not at all.  If it weren’t for you, all of these new "vamp" stories would never have made it to mass market.  I will add, however, that the amount of copy-cats out there in bookstores right now is becoming close to tiresome.

In my youth, I didn’t stop to think about what drove my fascination of vampires.  But I realize now that it isn’t only their extreme good looks and charm.  It’s their immortality.  They never die.  And if they do, it’s only through over-the-top methods of killing them.  Their ability to live forever intrigued me, and still does.  For a while, I even decided that if vampires did exist, I wanted to be one.  Ahh, to live the life of the seductive, ever-youthful, powerful walking dead…

According to the Terror Management Theory, the behavior of all humans is motivated by our fear of death. Ernest Becker, author of The Denial of Death, 1973, wrote:

“The idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human animal like nothing else; it is a mainspring of human activity—activity designed largely to avoid the fatality of death, to overcome it by denying in some way that it is the final destiny for man.”

Is this what drives us to worship a god?  Is this what drives us to seek meaning in our lives, to have and fulfill goals?  Is this what drives us to procreate and want our children to have better lives than we did?  Based on the Theory, every single thing we do as individuals and as societies is derived from our fear of mortality. 

But alas, theories are theories.  Something to consider, I suppose.  One of the greatest gifts we humans have been granted, and what sets up apart from other animals in the kingdom, is our ability as free thinkers to choose what we want to believe.  Sometimes I doubt I’ll ever fully decide.  I’m hoping I’ve got a long time to make that decision.  But if not, well, then I may not be able to tell you about it, but at least I’ll know the truth.

p.s. NO, my book is not a vampire story.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Monday, July 25, 2011

Priestess, Maggie Q

LOVE her! The movie is not awesome (although the concept IS!) But Maggie Q totally kicks butt... check it out.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Poetry circa 1990

Just to let you know that I did not just start writing...I've been writing my entire life.  I haven't written any poetry for a LONG time, and this is not my best.  But when I discovered it in an old file and read it, I realized it may have been my first glimpse of insight.  I just didn't now it yet.  A hint of something or somewhere unknown, mysterious.  I haven't changed one word from the original.  See what you think.  And no, I won't reveal how young I was in 1990.


Emptiness all around.
Here or there?
Pressureless, meaningless space.
Painless, dreamless sleep.
Sound, sight--everything white.
Cushioned, soft, pillowy.
Sinking below myself,
gliding above.
I am not me.
No one is now me.
I am nowhere.
Where is nowhere?
Emptiness all around.

T. Anderson, March 23, 1990

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

ikonicimage: MONAD

My cover artist, Corrie Gray. He's not only incredibly talented, but he's a very good friend. Check out his work at this link (above or click image below). It's pretty cool... www.ikonikimage.blogspot.com

Sunday, July 17, 2011


What are they and what do they mean?  Obviously we’ve all heard the classic symbolism explanations, so I don’t even need to go there.  But have you really stopped to wonder where exactly our minds go when we sleep?  I met an interesting woman recently who was talking about death.  She said she wasn’t really afraid to die anymore because she finally realized that it must be much like falling asleep and dreaming.  And that wasn’t scary or bad…so voila!  No need to fear.  I thought about it for a while and you know…I think she’s onto something there.   But of course I won’t know for sure until, well…

And then there’s this whole thing about premonition dreams.  Come on, admit you’ve thought about it.  You know you’ve wondered—or feared—your dreams might come true.  Natural for us to wonder, right?  Well, I believe there’s probably a reason for that.  Why do we shrug this possibility off so quickly, as if it’s completely absurd?  Because we’ve been programmed to think that way. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, dreams are just dreams!  It’s our mind’s way of reconciling inner conflict and stress…”  Blah, blah, blah.  Yes.  That’s true—most of the time. My personal recurring dream of that sort is the Late for Band Recital and My Saxophone is Nowhere to be Found dream.  I’ve had it since I was thirteen years old and it always reappears when I’m worried about completing an important task.

But I’ve also had, on more than one occasion, dreams that were extraordinarily vivid and unforgettable—even hours or days after waking.  Dreams that I felt must be shared with someone in order to clear my conscience.  And I will freely admit that some of these dreams have actually culminated in a few, “Woah, that’s creepy…” and, “You won’t believe this but…” comments from people when they realize later that I was right on the money.  First, let me say, NO I AM NOT PSYCHIC NOR DO I THINK I AM.  And second, let me say, I AM NOT DRUNK AND DO NOT DO DRUGS, NOR DO I HAVE A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS. 

My point is, you don’t have to be clairvoyant or touched by angels –or whatever you’ve heard—to have meaningful dreams.  You just have to believe in the possibility that they could be telling you something more than you have repressed sexual desire or unresolved conflict with your mother.  The next time you experience a dream that makes you really pay attention, simply take a moment to recognize it.  Maybe write it down.  And don’t be embarrassed to mention it to the person you think might get something out of it.  You never know…you could change someone’s life.

Had any cool dreams lately?  Feel free to share with someone who believes in the unbelievable…post your comments below.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


I am so glad to have found this video on YouTube this morning (archived blog below).  I want to share it with you all because it describes very well what I've been trying to tell people for the last few years. And hopefully it doesn't leave you feeling uncomfortable--I've discovered that some people just aren't ready to talk about Awakening yet.  And that's OK.  You'll be ready one day.  Hopefully it leaves you feeling accepted, welcomed...on the right path.  I like how Jim Carrey describes his own experience.  (His full talk is also on YouTube as well that you can watch).  

Awakening doesn't usually simply HAPPEN and take over your whole life.  It usually causes a small stirring, plants a seed, and then reappears when you least expect it--until you are thinking about it more regularly.  Whichever stage you're in right now...just know that you're not alone.  You're not going crazy.  On the contrary.  You're very lucky.  Welcome to your Awakening!  Our Awakening...

Some of you are probably wondering at this point..."OK.  Is her book about a spiritual journey?  Am I only going to like it if I'm into reading this kind of self-help, deep meaningful stuff?"  The answer is yes and no.  My book is for everyone.  If you're into that kind of thing...you'll really like it.  If you have absolutely no interest in the metaphysical, or don't know anything about it--you'll still like it!  The characters are real.  Not pure ascended beings just sitting around talking about meditation all day.  There's murder.  Sex.  Conspiracy.  All the good stuff that makes up an interesting page turner.

Anyway, my point is that it's possible to be Awakened and still be a normal human being who is stressed out, curses, imbibes, stretches the truth, gets impatient in traffic and has an argument with their spouse or child or whoever--all at the same time.  Awakening is a journey.  It doesn't mean you're perfect.  It doesn't mean you can't have fun, that you have to become a monk/nun or take a vow of celibacy or any goofy thing like that.  It just means that you're more aware.  Let's just leave it there.  Think about it.  Have you Awakened?  


Monday, July 11, 2011

2012: The End of the World

December 21, 2012

Let's talk turkey.  12:21:12.  The date.  The rumors.  The end.  Personally, I don't believe anything catastrophic will happen.  I see it more as an opportunity.  No, not to sell books, silly!  One of the best things to come out of all this hubbub is how much it has us all talking.  We're all thinking about the "what ifs" surrounding that date.  And no matter what each of us believes will happen, we've all had the opportunity to reconcile the fact that if there is even a microscopic chance the world WILL end...we have time to think about our lives.  What we cherish.  What we want to change about ourselves.  What we're willing to accept.  The list goes on...

In case you have NOT heard about December 21st, 2012, watch the video above.  This goofy chick is entertaining and informative.  

I'd love to hear what YOU think will happen on December 21st, 2012.  Post your comments!

Monday, July 04, 2011

Tough Chicks

Don’t get me wrong—I like a good warm fuzzy as much as the next girl.  But I’ve got a surprising weakness to share with you: stories about chicks who kick major butt.  That’s right.  Don’t even think about painting me with that one-dimensional warm fuzzy brush. Come on, I know that’s what you were thinking…which is why I need to address it sooner rather than later.

Sure, if you follow my blog you’ll be getting a full dose of sentiment.  A heaping helping of nostalgia.  Probably some existential optimism.  And I couldn’t leave out my signature version of spicy spirituality.  But let’s face it—even I become bored of all that mumbo jumbo at times.  So my promise is to show you as many sides of myself as I possibly can (after editing of course). 

This brings me back to the aforementioned female toughie-type I like so much.  The kind of leading lady who possesses two opposing character traits that, when brought together, makes you either wish you were her—or wish you had her.  You know what I’m blogging about…a body with brains.  A pout with a punch.

And I never limit my favorites to the beloved superheroines.  Oh no!  I admire a good villainess just as much (sometimes more).  The mean ones.  The scary ones.  The ones you hate, but kind of love a little bit at the same time.  Hmmm…if only I could learn to channel that kind of bad-assedness in my REAL life.  I’d show that smart kid at the apple store who’s boss!  A girl can dream, right?

Some of my favorites from years gone by (and these are only a few):
Sarah Connor
Charlie’s Angels
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Ripley (Alien)
Cat Woman
Lara Croft
Sidney Bristow
Alice (Resident Evil)
Selene (Underworld)
Beatrix, Elle Driver, O-Ren Ishi (and the rest of the Deadly Vipers)

You get the picture.  These are some oldies but goodies.  Some cool kittens have made appearances in a few books I’ve read recently—and obviously a couple of new flicks as well.  I hesitate to add them to the list just yet.   It’s a sacred list. 

My love for these strong female voices resonates in my writing as well, and may or may not happen to influence one or more of the characters in my new novel, MONAD 12:21:12 The Awakening of Stella Steinar.  Guess you’ll just have to read it to find out.  Follow my blog and I may or may not give other subtle hints here and there.  For more information visit www.MONAD2012.com and in the meantime, if you care to comment, post some of your favorite tough chicks below.  We’ll compare notes.

Sunday, July 03, 2011


This month, one year ago, I heard Stella Steinar’s voice speak to me for the first time.  And she didn’t creep up quietly.  She demanded my attention.  She said, “My name is Stella.  Here I am!  I need to tell you how I got here…”  It was an unbelievable story.  And she started at the end of it—which was a little confusing at first.  So I began to write—literally at the moment I first heard her.  I filled numerous pages in the Sudoku book that I was puzzling over at the time.  Soon I wasn’t puzzling at all, but weaving my way around the squares with her words until I realized what I was doing.  I shook myself from Stella long enough to read my scribbles aloud to my husband. 
“Does this make sense?” I asked him.
 And he answered, “It’s intriguing…but what does it MEAN?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted.  But I knew it was something.  So I dug out a real notebook and tried to organize my thoughts—Stella’s thoughts.  It came so easily and fell so smoothly into place that it almost scared me.  I asked myself, ‘Can I really write a book—a whole entire BOOK?’  My husband answered the question for me.  And thank goodness he did.  What was stopping me?  Nothing.  Especially not Stella.  She was relentless and began to inhabit a permanent spot in my life.  She refused to let me rest.  I was unable to pry myself from her story.  And it was so engaging that I didn’t want to.  Stella had my full attention.  And as she introduced me to the other characters in her story I was pulled into her circle even tighter.  I became an invisible bystander.  It consumed my dreams and distracted me from my daily commitments. 
I quickly realized that I must always be ready…I snuck my notebook around with me everywhere in my bag in case Stella had something to tell me.  I was apprehensive at first to let anyone know that I was hiding this secret obsession.  I didn’t want to hear the doubt in their voices and didn’t want their negative influence to stop me from finishing.  But as I made progress and gained confidence, I learned that almost everyone I knew supported my goal.  And I realized this was the biggest part of what Stella was trying to tell me. 
She was teaching me to look around at the people in my life and understand that we are all connected.  Not all the connections are as meaningful as they could be…but that, in itself has meaning.   A veil lifted from my eyes and I began to see even the most random, brief encounters with people as highly impactful. 
For this reason I am looking forward to the reactions from others when they read my book.  Obviously I am hoping to grab their attention and drag them into my mysterious and provocative tale.  But aside from being entertained, I am curious to know if they get any kind of meaning out of it, or if it was solely a personal experience for me. 
Regardless, as I finished writing the story I kept the same goal:  to share Stella with my friends and family.  To share her with anyone who would read her words.  To not be afraid of failure or criticism.  To put myself out there and let people know who I am and who Stella is.  She could be any one of us…just waiting to awaken.  And I have accepted already that not everyone will “get” Stella like I did.  But even if a few do…then I have made it so much further than I ever expected to.

Cover Art by Corrie Gray