Saturday, February 16, 2013

365 Days of Truth

Day 365.


It’s the last day.  I hope you’re not expecting some kind of grand finale.  If you were, I’m sorry.  I'd considered it, but I just couldn’t come up with anything spectacular or highly insightful.  I don't mean to disappoint you, but the truth is, I’m not much closer to finding the truth than I was 364 days ago.  It’s elusive.  It’s constantly morphing.  It’s subjective.  And while it may set you free, it might also lock a ball and chain around your ankle and throw away the key.  

I’ve discovered a few things about myself during all this.  Telling the truth is easy, but sometimes requires a significant amount of restraint to preserve the sanity of others.  I’ve told some untruths in my day, as we all have.  At times over this past year I've been overcome with a desire to come clean and ask for forgiveness.  But at what cost?  Sure, it might ease my own conscience, but afterward, would it even change anything?  Does the past really need reconciling?  Probably not.  Probably best to take what I’ve learned and move forward.  I have grown more aware of truth and the times at which it can be used in a constructive manner.  I’m more able to step back from a situation and remove emotion to see what the truth of the matter is in a given moment.  Not always, mind you, but better than I was able to before.  Yes, I know I may seem scattered to others, but the truth is I see things more clearly than ever and hope to continue this progression long after this.

So now to the ultimate question.  What is truth, you ask?  After 365 days of devoted studying and searching for it…the truth is, I don’t know.  It’s a concept.  A personal and intimate look into one’s soul to know what is at the core of your being.  It’s different for everyone.  So don’t expect me to tell you what it is or what it means.  If you’re interested enough, maybe you should begin your own search.  But I’m warning you…it’s often times maddening and will most likely become an obsession.  Be ready for what you'll discover because it has a slight potential to reveal a dark side, a part of yourself that might be difficult to face.  But most of the time, the search for truth is enlightening.  Seductive.  And beautiful.  Beautiful enough for me to never give up the hunt.  The truth is out there.  I will find it in the end.

If you'd like to review my 365 Days of Truth, you can find all the posts at this link to my facebook page.  One post for every day of the year!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/MONAD-The-Awakening-of-Stella-Steinar/128463370557407



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